21 October 2014

The boys turned ONE!


Although I had big big plans for the boys actually birthday, they were still recovering from the awful sinus/ear infection plague that hit our house and stayed for 4 weeks. I wanted them rested and well for their party so it was a low key day. (low key as in stay in your jammies all day, which this momma felt guilty about but got over it!)

Aunt KK was in town! After the boys swim lesson, we headed to Dunkin' Donuts to get these boys a donut for their big day! And saying they loved it, doesn't even justify that breakfast they had. They both each ate half a full glazed donut and a few munchkins. whoops! 






then baths were in order after being in the pool and being covered in sugary, sticky donuts.
The rest of the day we laid low. 

that night after dinner the boys got their very first try at cake/icing.We got them cupcakes as not to overwhelm them and they loved them. Had a ball eating them and covering themselves (and us) in icing!









then we opened presents! KK and Uncle Ty bought the boys their first cars, and these two little boys have been in them every day since! 



Happy first birthday sweet boys! 

 and to my sweet adam: this year has been fun, scary, tough, exciting and so much more. And through this crazy first year roller coaster you've remained my rock. Thank you for keeping me grounded and in check when i felt i was being torn to pieces. The boys are so so lucky to have you as a father. and you already know how lucky I am. I hope I tell you too much!
We did it babe! First year in the books! 
i love you!

xo,
b

*all images and content of this blog are property of the blog and its owner. Do not use images without permission.

02 October 2014

one year



I know the calendar is how man has chosen to measure time and track life. But a years time doesn't seem to measure all my little boys have brought into my life. That amount of time isn't enough to show what they have done for me and how they have changed me. They've brought me peace, happiness, patience, knowledge, love, so so much love, love beyond measure, and pure bliss.



Grayson and Greer: with all that everyone tells you and tries to explain about the love you will feel for your children one day, it just can't be done. There is no explanation. For all the times I will tell you this in your life, you will not know until you become a parent, and then you will fully understand. It is the most incredible feeling, the love that I have for both of you. You amaze me every day and I am so honored to be your Momma,  your compass through this crazy (and sometimes scary) World, your comfort when you're unsure, your teacher, your leader and your anchor.

You have both made up for so much that this life has dealt me and I will spend the rest of my life giving to you without limits and having the utmost gratitude for your life. I promise to give everything I have, every day, especially on the days I just don't feel like it. You little boys, are worth everything. and I love you both madly.



Grayson - Our "first" baby. You little man, are a momma and dada's boy through and through. You would take being in our arms over a new toy or a new friend. You are so compassionate. Any time your brother cries or Campbell barks, you're the first to run over and see wants the matter.
You are full of surprises. You will one day out of the blue start a new skill like that! With no warning. You just do it. You, most of the time, observe your brother for a few days or weeks and then nail it on your first try. You are swimming so well and despite your torticollis, you corrected yourself and are an absolute champ!
You stack huge blocks, roll cars and trucks all around, bang things together (which i have been told is a 15 month skill) and you love to love. You are a happy little boy and watching you grow has been the greatest joy of my life. I love you.

Greer- our "baby'. You came into our family as the calm, laid back twin. But that quickly changed. You amaze us every day with the things you can do. You were a quick roller and walker. And the things you pick up on and mimic, shock us. You put a phone to your ear when we say "hello?!", you make animal noises at correct animals, you LOVE animals, you recognize peoples faces in pictures, and you pay attention to every little detail.  You floated in swim class right off the bat, and haven't looked back since. You amaze us every time.
You love having fun and being silly and love to rough house with Dada. You are the bright light little boy and it so much fun watching you learn. You make my day, every single day. I love you.

xoxo momma

05 September 2014

Blogging update

hi friends!

did you think I forgot about you? Did you forget about me?

This is my confession: I've been extremely scared to blog. Terrified. I have had four sweet blogging/twin mama friends of mine, have their sweet babies pictures taken from their blog and used to make other accounts/blogs/Facebook pages. Disgusting, right? So, being the anxious mama I am, I stopped blogging cold turkey. One part of me is thankful I did it and the other part is kicking myself for not figuring out a solution sooner and documenting my babes lives here, for them, for me and for you.

BUT --- I have figured out a way to keep my babes safe and still blog. A few changes happening here:
1. A new blog layout/design is in the works! Exciting
2. None of my pictures will be able to be copied on her. The right click button has been disabled. So, for all my family members who like to save the pictures off of here, I am SO sorry :( I just can't handle the creeps that are out to mimic bloggers families and lives.
3. There will be legal verbiage at the bottom of each post about stealing pictures from this blog and using them in any other way.

I am so so so excited to start blogging again and having a space to document Grayson and Greer.

So, I will be back here more often now! Updating you on what has been going on around these parts (if you don't already follow me on Instagram) and was is new around here!

Happy to be back and be comfortable once again!

I leave you with a few recent pictures of the littles!

Can you believe they are almost ONE?! I think I have cried every day, at least once, for the past ten days just thinking about it.







xxoo,
b

*all pictures from this blog are property of this blog. Any unauthorized use of these pictures will result in legal actions.

06 January 2014

Grayson & Greer Birth Video



How proud of me are y'all for posting twice in one week?! Thank you for all your sweet comments on IG, FB messages and e-mails on my gratitude post! 

So, I've spent the better part of all my nightly pumping sessions at the computer working on the boys birth video the last week. There was so much I wanted to put in it and a lot I wanted to keep extremely private { meaning only for Adam and I } so I battled on what to do. I decided I would make two videos. One for us and one to share with family, friends and followers! 

I'll tell you, this project had me in tears quite a few times. My littles are growing so quick and in a blink of an eye they will be holding their own bottles, walking and talking and I'll want to come back to this day so badly. I know the big thing this year is to have a "word" for yourself. A word describing how you want this year to go. I've been thinking about for a few weeks, and I think i've decided on "present." I want to be present in every moment and not rush through the small things. {i.e.: feedings, night time routine, and just life in general} I believe now, more than ever, it is important for me to be present and soak every little second in with the boys. And even though I want to try and document everything, I need to remember to put the phone/camera down and just live in the moment instead of trying to capture it through media. 

What is your word? Have you thought of one or even heard of this whole thing?

Well here is the boys birth video sans all the gory surgery pictures and other personal shots we took when it was just us. {ya know, skin to skin, pictures with my side boob hanging out:), nobody needs to see that!}

enjoy!
xo
-b


31 December 2013

2013

Did Hell just freeze over or is there actually a post popping up on my blog? Yes, yes my friends there is a new post.

You guys, having twins is NO JOKE. I had high, high hopes for myself to keep up this blog on a weekly basis and document anything and everything about the twins…. FAIL! Life with twins has been more than I ever expected it to be. It is beautiful. And challenging. (more on that in another post)

This post is my 2013 letter/review. I wanted to type out a list of things I was grateful for at Thanksgiving, but didn't get around to it and then, wound up sick with two sick babies. So this post is an ode to all the things I am grateful for in 2013….






Dear 2013,

You my friend were a challenge to say the least. It so tough to say that the best day of my life happened in a year I wouldn't call my favorite. The amount of stress and pressure that came along with you this year was insurmountable. As a whole you were not my favorite year, but you do hold my most favorite day in your hands. My beautiful boys were born in your year, and for that I will always love 2013. I am also grateful for the following that 2013 held:

My health - i have to remind myself on a daily basis how truly lucky I am to have this. There are many people sitting in hospitals not knowing when their last day will be, that would LOVE to take my place. I am forever grateful for my health.

My husband- this man has been by my side all year. (except this weekend when he flies to Pasadena for the National Championship game, but hey, he deserves it) I'm not sure where I would be without him. He is my rock. Through every smile, laugh, tear, breakdown and let down, he's been right there to share them with me. I am more in love with now then I have ever been.
I am also thankful for his job, and the way he works his tail off. Because of both of these components, I  was able to make the decision at the end of this year to stay home with the boys. I so look forward to not ever missing a thing and watching their every growth.

My boys - my boys:) I love saying that. These two littles have brought more joy to my life than I ever could have dreamed. My every breath is stolen by them. My world revolves around them. And I will spend every second of my life making sure they know how much they are loved and how very much they mean to me.


My family and friends - these people are the best support anyone could ask for. They kept my spirit and soul up this year and I am forever indebted to them for doing so.

My incredible doctors - my doctors had to make some incredibly tough decisions on my behalf this year. And although I did most of these hard things kicking and screaming, they brought my two happy, healthy baby boys into the world safely. Thank God for them

Hospital bed rest - yes, I said it, I am thankful for the 5 weeks I sat in a hospital bed and cooked my littles just a bit longer. This had a major hand in their health. Their great health. I also made great friends with my nurses and continue with some of those friendships today.
And lastly, through bed rest, I learned a lot about my self. I did lots of soul searching and self learning. Because of bed rest, for the first time in my life, I was fully proud of myself.

Parenthood - parenthood has also taught me so much about myself, it has made Adam and I an incredible team and it is the single best thing that has ever happened to me.

*** my friend Leah gifted me "The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude" book. Its dated for every day of the year and you are supposed to write down every night, the little things you were grateful for that day. These things aren't meant to be big things, like family, friends etc… they should be silly things that you take or granted every day. ie: your Starbucks barista had your drink ready and waiting for you when you walked into your neighborhood Starbucks.
I was so excited to receive this, and I am making it one of my goals this year to do it every night. Wont you join me? you can find the book here.

I've listed out some small things below that I am grateful for, some on a daily basis, and some that happen every once in a while:

-my babies crying, screaming crying  - i always make a point to stop and think to myself, thank God for those lungs.
-my pup - poor thing didn't know and still doesn't know what happened to her. She has been patient and very good with the boys. She still craves attention but she keeps her distance while still trying to figure out who these little boys are.


-Instagram/blogging - i know, sounds so ridiculous, but through both of these "places" I have formed wonderful friendships with other twin moms that have quickly become my "pen pals." We swap advice, almost on a daily basis, and without them, I would be lost.

-my pump - not really, but really. I hate my pump, I do. But its the only thing that has made giving my boys the very best milk, possible. (I plan to burn it when I'm through)

-my home - i love my house. I curse it on a daily basis when I have to run up and down stairs 100 times a day, and we are currently looking for a new one. But every time I curse it, I do say "if you were only one level, I would stay in you forever" other than the stairs, its perfect. I am so thankful to have a beautiful roof over my head.

-my car - I am blessed to drive what I drive and feel safe every time I am in it and every time I drive the boys in it. I know it sounds silly to be thankful for this, but my anxiety levels aren't as high as they would be knowing I am in a very safe car.

-my bed - after being in a hospital bed for 5 weeks and then on my couch for 2 weeks, I have never been more thankful for that king sized bed in my life. It is my little slice of Heaven.

reflux - both my boys have reflux. And although it is the bane of my existence, I know these boys could have a lot worse conditions. Being "happy spitters" is low on the totem pole of infant conditions and I am thankful to be there and not dealing with something more serious. (or something that gives me less sleep than I am getting now)

-sleep training/Moms On Call - because of this program my boys are sleeping 9 hours through the night now. Which makes this completely sleep deprived momma feel like a whole new woman.

-Snuzas - the boys wear these little alarms to monitor their breathing. If they have no movement for 15 seconds the alarm buzzes them to get them to move, if they don't move after that buzz, an alarm will sound to let Adam and I know. This helps me sleep at night.

There are countless other things that I am grateful and thankful for this year and every day. I am hoping my new journal will keep my list up to par for this letter next year.

Thank you all for following along, for your endless support, prayers and kind words through this year.
Here is to 2014 being the best yet!



xxoo
-b



30 October 2013

Twin Update


For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you might have seen a lot of these pictures, so I'm sorry:) But for those of you who haven't here are pictures and updates from the past 4 weeks {4 weeks?!?!? who the hell decided time can go this fast}

 
I already blogged about our first week together, but here were G & G’s stats that week:
{from first doctors visit}
Grayson:
5 pounds 7 ounces

 Greer:
5 pounds 12 ounces

 
At this appointment we were told to up their ounces of milk each feeding and that she wanted to see us back in a week. We were also to put them in indirect sunlight to help with their jaundice. Their bilirubin was only a 9 but they were just a tad yellow.

 
Week 2 (October 8-14)
{stats from 1 week old visit}

 Grayson:
5 pounds 9 ounces

 Greer:
5 pounds 12 ounces
 
At this visit they had each only gained 2 ounces. We were told they needed to be at their birth weight by the 2 week old visit. So she up’d their ounces again and changed them to eating every 2-2.5 hours, which ever they could handle. {but could Momma handle either of those?} Turns out none of us could. The boys would either not finish their bottle or toss their cookies after each one. So Adam and I decided to keep the ounces up but go back to feeding every 3 hours.
 
 



{2 week visit}
 
{newborn/family photoshoot}
 
 

Week 3 (October 15-21)
{stats from 2 week old visit}

 Grayson:
6 pounds 5.5 ounces {4% percentile}
19.5 inches long {10% percentile} (I think I messed this up. I held his head while they stretched him out and didn’t hold it up against that metal thing)
13.5 inches head circumference {7% percentile}

 Greer:
6 pounds 9 ounces {5% percentile}
18.75 inches long {2% percentile}
13.75 inches head circumference {12% percentile}

 WE DID IT!!!!!

We got the boys to their birth weights and then some! Whew! We were so excited and happy our boys were moving right along.
 

{first sink bath, surprisingly we both loved it}

{first game days at home}

 
 
 
 
 
 
Week 4 (October 22-28)
{weight from Urgent Care visit}

 Grayson : 8 pounds 0.5 ounces
Greer: 8 pounds 5 ounces

This was the week I visited the ER for my bladder and kidney infection. It was a long, long week still trying to be a Mom and heal myself. In the midst of all my healing, the boys got a severe “diaper rash” (to me it looks like just raw skin) but the doctor’s office said since they were under a month they wanted to see them. The day I called they didn’t have any open times but after 5pm, our doctors office turns into an urgent care and the doctors take turns taking the evening shift (one of the reasons we chose this practice). So we went in and saw the doc there that night. She didn’t think it was anything but a little rash but put them on two creams to prevent any infection. We go back to the doctor tomorrow (Halloween) for the boys 1 month visit!

{trying out napping in our cribs}
 
 
 

{Mom trying to get the hang of "feed twins at same time" thing}

 {Mom gave Dad a hall pass to the Florida State game in Tallahassee, we kept her company}
{Practicing wearing baby}


 
Over the past 4 weeks we’ve had lots of family and friends in and out to see the boys. The amount of love and support we have received has been wonderful. We are so happy for those who were able to make it to see the boys in their first month of life!

We are looking forward to seeing a few more people and celebrating the holidays as a family of four.

Yay for my favorite time of the year!!!

29 October 2013

Our First Week

*I'm so sorry I didn't keep my promise and blog every day last week. On Wednesday afternoon I got severe body aches and chills. I rested, drank some warm tea, but nothing seemed to help. Adam came home early and I got to taka full 2 hour nap. My symptoms were still the same when I wok up and my temperature was 103.6. I called my OB and she insisted I go to the emergency room. So I did. In tears. When would all of this stop? Adam stayed home with the boys (wasn't about to take them there) and my brother met me at the ER to sit with me since I was so upset. I was there from 8:30pm -2 a.m. getting test run and an IV with fluids and antibiotics. Turns out I had an infection in my bladder and kidneys. PAINFUL. However, now I am feeling better and ready to talk about our first week with the boys*



The day we left the hospital, Amanda (my nurse that I became close with) wasn't working. But she picked up an afternoon shift and came and spent the morning with Adam, the boys and I and helped us get everything ready to leave. Have I mentioned how sweet she is? And they all are for that matter.

{our sweet nurse, Amanda}

Any who, after the boys were cleared for discharge and I was cleared, we got our things together and were wheeled out. At the time of our discharge, the lobby was getting retiled, so we were wheeled through the cafeteria, during lunch time. This should have been my first hint the rest of the day would be full of a comedy of errors.

{about to go home}


{getting wheeled out.  and another downside to a C-section, retention of all those fluids they pump into you}

We got outside and Amanda said " Boys, this is your first breath of real air." I teared up. ha! This was only my fourth breath of fresh air in five  weeks. We got the boys in their car seats, I hugged Amanda and another tech goodbye and got in the car. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, I started to cry, really cry. I hadn't been out in the real world in five weeks or in my own car. Everything looked different. I suddenly found myself wanting to go back. Back to my little room, where our little family was born and existed for the past four days and the last few weeks of my pregnancy was spent.  Strange, I know, but its what I had come to know.

{in our car seats}


When we got home Adam and I went inside to see Campbell before we bombarded her with the babies. She immediately ran to Adam. What the hell?! I hadn't seen her in five weeks, and she ran to Adam. Then after a few seconds she ran my direction and loved on me for a bit. Then, we took her into the garage and brought the boys out of the car for her to sniff. We had sent their first hospital hats home with my sister for her to smell and get used to (if you are pregnant and have a dog(s), when you deliver save that first hat to send home. The first hat has the babies scent and the yours on it) She was very curious with the boys.

A few hours later, I was in a lot of pain. I hadn't filled my prescriptions yet, and was starting to feel the effects of that mistake. Adam ran to the pharmacy and filled them so I could take them immediately. I was still in a fog. And in an amount of pain I never thought I'd ever experience. And my hormones... oh my! I was crying just looking at my little loves. I kept saying, I can't let anything happen to them. What if something does? what if something happens to me? I again, wanted to go back to our hospital room, where I knew everyone was safe. and GOD I was HOT.

That evening, I was still hot, I kept saying, is anyone else hot in here? No one was. Then around 8pm, everyone started to feel what I was feeling, hot! Sure as shit, our AC was out. I wanted to cry but didn't. We called our AC company, it was too late for them to come out. I looked at Adam and said "I will pay thousands of dollars right now for one of those emergency places to come out and fix it." So we had one come out. The fellow who came to fix it went to take a look at it. He came back in with this sad look on his face. He knew what was wrong but he couldn't get the part until 8 a.m. He looked down at the twins and said "I am so sorry."

So now we had to figure out what to do. Over my dead body was I taking two newborns (four days old) to a hotel. I wouldn't even take them now and they are almost a month! They weren't allowed around any other babies or children so friends here in town were out of the question. Only other option was to drive to my mom's in Orlando. At this point I still didn't cry. My maternal instincts must have kicked in and all I was focused on was getting my little some place cool and safe to sleep. So off to Orlando we went.

My sweet sister who had one more night with the babies had to say good-bye. She made coming home so easy and beautiful. I was so sad to not get to spend this one last night with her. She ended up at my brothers that night, but stayed back to shut down our house for us.



a little side note, since the boys were losing so much weight the pediatrician wanted to see them the next day in her office (Saturday) to get weights and measure their jaundice. That appointment was at 10 a.m. the next morning.

We got to my  mom's, got through our first night of sleeping and feeding.
{at CC's house}


{at CC's house}
And at 7:30 a.m. the next morning we got up, put the clothes we had on from the day before, got in the car and drove back. We got back with just enough time to drop off the dog and head to the pediatrician's office. We looked like white trash. I was still in the clothes I left the hospital in. The boys were in only onsies and socks and we looked like we hadn't slept in weeks. But this doctors visit turned out to be exactly what we needed. We asked our pediatrician all sorts of questions to make sure we were doing everything right. She was so encouraging and supportive and we left there feeling like we were making it:)

{first Doctors appointment with Dr. Hauser}




The rest of our first week was spent downstairs, as I wasn't allowed to use stairs for two weeks (I gave in after 7 days on the couch, my back couldn't handle it) We set up a little apartment downstairs and made our dining room table Baby Central. our next six days were spent snuggling the littles, learning our way through everything, sleepless nights, Adam bringing Campbell to the changing table more than twice, and both of us waking up between each feed thinking the other one fell asleep with a baby. It will be a week we never forget. We did it together, learned together, and built more and more respect for one another.

{snuggles with all 3 babies}


{first "washcloth" bath}