20/30 - friends

 

20/30

We spend most of our teens and early twenties gathering all sorts of friends, and lots of them. We always feel the need to say "yeah, I'm friends with her/him".  Feel the need when something happens to someone to be able to say "I'm friends with them", to feel like we have a sense of entitlement to their situation. We have friends we keep to fall back on if someone in our regular group is mad at us, or we're fighting with one of our close friends. We have friends that are on our sports teams, friends from our sorority, friends from the dorm, friends from class, but how many of these friends are actual "true" friends?

I have seen so many friends come and go. Some by choice, some not. But I have spent the later part of my twenties figuring out who my true, good friends are. I've met most of these close friends after college, believe it or not. I've come to learn that you don't need to be friends with someone for 5 or 10 or 15 years to have them be one of your best friends. Later in life you become friends with people quicker as you know what you look for in friends and they know what they want in a friend. No one is still finding themselves or figuring out who they are and what they want.

Great/best friends, never talk about each other....to anyone. Best friends keep secrets and want the best for each other, even if what you want for them, you don't have yet yourself. Their is no jealousy in true friendships.

This is going to sound completely backwards, but I actually did a lot of my "friend soul searching" after being around my younger sister and her friends, on her bachelorette weekend. I was almost jealous of the relationship they all have with each other. They all showed up. Did whatever they could to get there. They loved on each other every second they were together. There was something different about this group. They were all true friends. The kinds you read about in books, watch in movies and dream your friends will be like when you're younger.

I've learned in my soul searching through this transition from my twenties to thirties, that it doesn't matter how many friends you have. Its the amazing relationship(s) you share with one or a few friends.

I've met most of my newest/closest friends through work (even though we don't see each other everyday), through my husband (his friends have some awesome wives) and ones I've rekindled/kept from my past. The friendships I've kept along the way are not the same relationships they are when they started. There is more love, and respect in the grown up friendship.
 When the stupid, little things don't matter, and you're concentrated on your own quality of life, you'll be surprised who you attract for friends and how amazing they can be.

monday, monday, we meet again.....
make it a good week chickens!

-b
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy."